First, I will allow that "a sense of control" does not equate with complete control. No one owns that absolute. Besides, that would piss off the Norns; remember what happened to Macbeth.
Still, not feeling like a log in the cataract of life is worth it. Another analogy could be to preprogrammed industrial machinery. Take your pick.
To begin, try (real hard) to practice putting the word "should" in the place of "can" whenever it might turn up, in thought, self-reflection or speech. Syntactically, it will always fit so no worries about working around clumsy sentences. Practice doing this and take note of what happens.
You may be surprised. If you take this exercise to heart, your view of the areas where you have a choice and where you really don't will change. I claim for the better. Better in this case meaning that your zone of conscious choice-making will expand.
There is, shall we say, a sidebar to this increase in possible choices. That is the necessity of assuming responsibility over your expanding view of how you both affect and effect your future, as well as the present and future conditions of all with whom you interact.
Follow these suggestions and reap the bittersweet harvest of freedom. Learn to live consciously. Point being that you CAN do most anything. But SHOULD you? That is something which most definitely requires a reason, apprehended through reason.
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