Chronic Insomniac Habits

Chronic Insomniac Habits 

1. You don’t sleep. 

2. You don’t sleep. 

3. You don’t sleep. 

4. You begin to talk to yourself and yell abuse at inanimate objects while you are awake anyway. 

5. You wonder if you’d eaten that month. 

6. You see the shadows of cats out of the corners of their eyes. 

7. Sleep has become a forgotten concept much like the medicinal uses of mummy dust. 

8. You stop talking to yourself and begin holding complete Socratic dialogues instead.

9. You receive a Holy Vision that temporarily revitalises your brain. 

10. You go through the phone book for the wrong city calling possible meth dealers based on the numerological values of their names. 

11. Luck bites and you freakishly happen to score. 

12. Or, your luck sucks, you bite off your fingers and try to dry and smoke the bones.

13. You die of creeping gangrene, are buried but you still can’t sleep, so you begin a long conversation with Jimmy Hoffa, who can’t sleep either.