Rant à la Washington

I have Eno’s “Music For Airports” playing on repeat AND the sound of ocean waves hitting some beach somewhere coming out non-stop from my phone. That has worked fine for some time but not this morning. I think that the arch villain that lives in a suite in the subbasement of my brain just lulled me into believing that this is as bad as it can get. And then he punched me with one of his Archgloves when I was just looking at the view on the inside side of my eyelids, which is perfect and relaxes more powerfully than anything, absolutely it’s unprecedented like nobody has ever seen. I have strong genes going back, who knows, maybe a million generations. My great-uncle’s best friend, absolutely so good that you would never believe it. So my family right out of their perfect, so perfect like nobody anywhere, and I have talked to many experts, the best experts, unprecedented in science everywhere in the world and I can say my eyes are perfect, not like all those fake eyes I see very strongly out there. Do you know what? The best artists, the best of the most powerful artists like nothing the world has ever seen and I was the first, just ask anybody, any expert and ours are number one, the best in the whole world and they will give you a powerful, the best, the strongest but so perfect that you can’t even understand like I do, more than anybody in who knows, maybe ever that has ever been given and, believe me do I know a lot, more than anybody else about giving and I can take all, every one of the perfect stuff the strongest total geniuses have ever given me. But right here and now, you know, where I am there just is not enough room. I’ll Tweet you some pictures of it, and I take all of my pictures myself and put that writing with them all by myself and you-know-who is jealous as hell but my brain is just the best brain ever, so they can make up as much as they like but YOU can tell what’s true and together we will get through this like the absolutely greatest government and the strongest voters in the world and they won’t even be able to believe it. Buy a t-shirt before you leave because, as any doctor you can find will tell you, my t-shirts are like nothing the world has ever seen in the past and like it says on the tag on every one of them, that took me so long to sign each one, that they will go up in value 4,000 % by November. (Did you see that, those two words “buy” and “by” that sound the same but actually mean something different? Can you just see all those governor dictators get mixed up by that?) They should bow down and show some dignity for once to my perfect big brain. I was actually born with my brain and I didn’t have to go to the most best of the strongest universities in the country but I was just being nice. I never wanted enemies when I was young and I certainly don’t now see any here on this beautiful day in.…a place. I have an office, it’s oval. Did you know that? My big tough desk so I can’t answer questions. Too busy. Much too busy. Get on my mailing list and the best people will send you emails. All the details, all the details you need.